Sunday, May 30, 2010

Post No. 2, Chapters 3 and 4



She Doesn’t Look a Certain Way

Chapter 3


I can honestly tell you, before I started reading this book, my motivation for even purchasing it was that many of my clients were reading it and I wanted to be knowledgeable about what they were reading. It wasn’t because I felt I needed it. I felt I had worked on this area of my life plenty and by 48 years of age, I felt pretty secure in the fact that I felt pretty secure…(does that make sense?) Another reason I am reading it is because I love to be taught by Beth Moore; she is truly anointed in my opinion.

Beth’s third chapter reminded me of the June 17th entry in “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. His first line is, “Jesus says regarding judging – DON’T”. Our insecurities come from comparing ourselves to others and when we do that we either find ourselves better than or worse than. Both places are a result of judging others and Jesus says don’t do it.

Also, I found that her suggestion of a “prominent false positive” was very intriguing to me. I totally buy into her assertion that “if” I had _______________________, “then” I would be secure. I do that when I see tall, thin, fit women since I am not any of those. I do it when I shop with people that have more money than we do and see them buying things I would love to buy but can’t. It’s not that I want them to be like me; I want to be like them.

Little did I know that beginning to read this book would shine a bright light on the areas of my live where insecurity subtly rears its ugly head. I recently helped host a women’s event at our church. I found myself afterward assessing what I said; how I said it and wishing I had said some things I forgot. My evaluation of the evening had more to do with what I had missed rather that what had gone right. Do you notice how many times I used the word “I”? My insecurities are very real when my focus is on me. They become more and more insignificant when I look at things and bring them into alignment with God’s Word. Did God accomplish eternal things that night? Yes! Was he pleased with his “girls”? I believe so! Was my heart’s desire to honor Him? Absolutely! Is He perfect and am I flawed? Yes. And I am good with that. I am an expert in my flaws already; I want to become more and more an expert in His perfection and to learn to “look and be” like my heavenly father!

God has been teaching me to see things as either temporal or eternal; to bring everything into alignment with how God views things. I echo with Beth, “When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are.”


Good Company

Chapter 4


“He’s got what we need. It’s up to us whether or not we’re going to let the worst of us get the best of us.”( pg. 58) I loved this chapter because of how Beth outlines the lives of people in God’s Word with huge insecurities that ended up getting them into huge amounts of trouble. We are not alone. And praise God, we can learn from them to bring our insecurities into check.


So often in my counseling practice I work with people who rely on their emotions to make decisions or to evaluate the status of their relationships. Beth’s statement on page 55 regarding Saul winning The Most Insecure Man in the Word Award is so true. She states, “He won because he let his emotions get so out of control that his insecurity morphed into complete instability.” Nowhere in scripture that I know of does God say we should rely on our emotions; quite the opposite. In Romans 12:2 Paul writes that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. Our emotions are given to us, I believe, simply to let us know that something is going on. We are to take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (II Corinthians 10:5). Our feelings lie to us over and over again. I remember when I was first married to Tim we had an argument that lasted into the night. Tim finally said we would finish the “discussion” in the morning and went to bed. I was so mad and hurt…I can’t even remember now what the argument was about…that I got dressed and left the house in a very loud way. I got in our car and drove to Odessa on HWY 30 and then back East on the interstate to Kearney and back to our house. I was gone, maybe 45 minutes. The entire time I was fuming and thinking how sorry he would be that I had left. When I got home, you guessed it, Tim was fast asleep. He didn’t even know I was gone. My “emotions had gotten so out of control that my insecurity about my worth, to my husband, morphed into to complete instability.” Well, maybe not complete instability, but surely for the time I was not stable.


I had never, ever thought of Paul being insecure. But after reading Beth’s take on the scriptures she cited, it made sense. Her statement on page 57 was so meaningful to me. “The beauty of Paul wasn’t his super humanity but his unwillingness to let his weaknesses, feelings, and fears override his faith. Like us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself.” I, too, am my own worst enemy. I would guess I am not alone.


It is so good that “Human flesh and blood have no weakness so strong that God’s strength is made weak. He’s got what we need. It is up to us whether or not we’re going to let the worst of us get the best of us.” (pg. 58) Well said!


(Chapters 3 and 4 written by Sherri Peterson. She is a Counselor and Pastor's wife from Kearney, Ne.)


8 comments:

  1. Sherri, I loved your synopsis so much that I would rather comment on it than the book. :-) You are a gifted teached and writer.

    I LOVE when you said you want to become an expert on HIS perfection. As a perfectionist, what a great visual to give up my own flawed sense of perfection and strive for Christ's true perfection.

    I loved this line: “If you frequently don’t feel secure, you are insecure.” Just like Sherri, I felt secure about being so secure. Until I started reading this book. Then I realized that the fears in my life are built on insecurity. The fear of loosing my family, my health, my stability, etc. It's all based on insecurity.

    I've been on both sides of insecurity leading to jealousy, and I know the havoc and destruction it can lead to. God save us from ourselves...we truly are our own worst enemy. I will give God my worst so He can transform it into my best.

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  2. My husband was speaking with a young man who was getting married later this year and he was very insecure about certain things and their impending wedding. I was remembering a time in my life when I had the same feelings. I feel that through age (unfortunately I've gotten older) that I overcame those feelings, but they still creep in from time to time. I read Beth's quote on page 30 and thought of the young man and of how I felt at times. "No person on earth can love you perfectly enough to mend a tear in the crimson fabric of your soul. Furthermore, if a person ever gave unwavering,undivided attention to loving every part of us and made us the solitary object of his undying, unhindered, unhidden affection, we'd probably start feeling smothered.....I don't know about you, but I like people who have a life. I just want a healthy piece of it." I loved that last part and thought about certain relationships that I seek. Are they healthy or unhealthy? And are my insecurities a hinderance to finding healthy relationships? Love the book so far and am finding that I do have insecurities even though I too, thought I was pretty secure!
    Cristina----yes, I can take Chapter 9! Sorry just saw that post today!

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  3. I'm learning to find security in the Lord through chapters 3 and 4. A word that keeps coming to my mind is grounded. I want to be secure as a person and find my security in Him alone, being grounded in Him, having myself firmly planted in Him, not apart in anything. I loved "if I had_____, then I'll be secure. This made me think about what I have been worrying about and fearful of, what I have been obsessing about. I think about if I were grounded in Him in the areas that I'm not secure in, how would my life be different? Less worrying, less complaining, and perhaps more of the abundant life...yes, this is what I'm looking for. I don't like it when I compare myself to others and am tired of doing it. I think about what may disappear when I can be grounded in Him and I like that thought...less comparisons, more security. Today's Oswald Chambers talked about having an abiding relationship with God. "If we are obsessed with God, nothing else gets into our lives---not concerns, nor tribulations, nor worries... To be obsessed with God is to have an effective barricade against all the assaults of the enemy." Sounds like security to me.

    I'm thankful to have the examples of insecurity that Beth mentioned. Isn't just like the Lord to know that we would be struggling with insecurity in the year 2010. Isn't it great to know that He included those examples, just to help us along in this life on earth. I love this about Him and His word. We are not alone in this fight for security in Him.

    (I have to say if anyone names their child hemorrhoid, we will know where it came from! I was serious laughing for a long time about that paragraph.)

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  4. I often find myself with such high expectations of other people that they often let down. On page 35 Beth said, "You and I are going to have to come to a place where we stop handing people the kind of power only God should wield over us." OH MY! It's true...I do this all the time, and oh how I'm taking that joy from my Jesus when I do. It is HIS power alone. Not anyone else's, but His to give away.

    another thing that really struck me was Saul's story of running and hiding when it was his time is a perfect example of my life. I recently had to go to a work engagement in which I had to go up in front of everyone and meet the School Board and Superintendent of my school district. I was totally mortified, in fact, I went and hid in the bathroom for a bit before it was my turn. Talk about a story straight out of the Bible! Everything turned out fine, But my lack of security in my position that evening made me realize that everyday I read more of this book, the more healing I need from this chain of insecurity!

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  5. I am also someone who assumed I was secure until reading this book. Karla, I also identified with the statement "if I had_____, then I'll be secure. Those fears creep up thinking about things that can go wrong and they create a sense of insecurity.

    Sorry this response is really short, but I need to go to bed:)

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  6. do you think
    beth got the
    airbrush treatment
    for the cover
    of this book?

    just curious.
    :)
    i am enjoying
    this book. i
    am finding that
    i may be even
    more shallow
    than first projected.
    sigh.

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  7. Karla, your comment reminded me of something one of my bible study leaders said many years ago. We were studying "The Divine Art of Contentment", an 'ancient' book by Thomas Watson.... I believe. He suggested that sometimes it can be healthy for us to compare our lots with others. He thought that when we do we would see that we don't have it all bad, and may even be inspired to help someone else in their time of need. However, our leader, Marti Wibbels, cautioned us... she said, as women, our tendency is often to one of two responses when comparing our lot with others... pride or envy. Mr. Watson may not have been very knowledgeable about the inner workings of the female mind. =)

    And, Lynn, I have to admit, I studied the cover photo of the book, too. She looks great! And if I had her beautiful skin, I'd certainly be secure! HaHa.

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  8. Jean,

    I went through that study with Marti too! Diana and I met with her on Tuesday nights for a semester. I still have the book. Loved it.

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