My mom, mother-in-law and I had 2 free days with the kids to shop at our leisure. We took turns waiting with the little ones while the others looked and tried on. At one play area in a mall, I sat down and looked up. I couldn't believe what I saw. A naked woman hanging on a huge poster in a store that I used to go to. No more I thought. They were advertising lotions and I for a moment thought maybe they had some miracle cream to make me look like that if I put it on. I know too well for that to be true. As I sat with kids around me, little girls and boys, I looked around. There was a gentleman sitting not to far from me and could see what I could see. There was another mom sitting next to me. I must have been mad enough to change because I just blurted out, "I can't believe they put that in their window!". My mom looked up and asked, "What?". I pointed it out to her and she couldn't believe it either, or the mom sitting next to me. My mom said, "I'm going to go into the store". She came out with customer service numbers to call and complain. The store manager couldn't do anything about it because as a company they have to display the advertisements they receive from headquarters. I've thought about how insecure that poster instantly made me feel. And since I've thought about how it made the men feel around me, and what the little ones minds must have absorbed in their what seemed safe play area. I have even wondered how the girl in the photo really feels. I know she has insecurities too. How do we get away from feeling insecure? We certainly can't live in a cave. I believe the answer is to stay close to the Savior and let God work the rest out. I'm wondering what that will look like over the summer as I read this book and think about how the enemy talks to me, wanting me to buy a lie or make a choice. It is a Goliath-sized foe and I'm ready to fight it to the stinking death.
What I really am thinking hard about from chapter one is her question from page 12. "Is the goal of the believing life to get to a place where we simply hold steady till we die?". I find myself wanting to go someplace wonderful with God and I just can't get there. I wonder why I can't and think there is something wrong with me, like I know why God can't use me in a situation, or why I would fail if I tried something because I'm not equipped. Stink. Insecurity is ugly. What are you thinking about from chapter one?
Chapter 2, Insecure Enough to Matter
I found this chapter tougher to digest. Here's the question I'm still chewing on from page 15, "Are they (insecurities) cheating us of the powerful and abundant life Jesus flagrantly promised?". For me, yes. How about you? What questions are you still chewing on? I'm also thinking about the definition from page 17 and finding what I can relate to, what needs to go.
Here's something I'm wondering about. Do you think you fit the profile? Do you think you are a typical insecure woman? I am far from mousy, but I too, cannot stand when someone is mad at me or I think they don't like me. What are your thoughts about the self-consciousness from pages 22 and 23? Ouch. Ouch. Things need to go here in my world. The specialist description of insecurity on pages 23 really pointed out some things. I know I have unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. What kinds of situations am I creating that I will end up being disappointed? I'm ready for healthy. Bring in on, Lord, bring it on! So I confess, this isn't going to be all happy and enjoyable but I'm trusting that God brings what is healthy. Here's something else big that I have to confess. Do I trust that God can change me enough so I can end up liking those that I love but can hardly stand? Oh I hope so because this is where I am. Okay, your turn. What are your thoughts from chapters one and two?
(Chapters 1 and 2 post written by Karla Steele, Kearney, NE).
Chronic.... A very strong word. So far this book has really hit me in the face for how much I need to change. With a new feeling of how much I want to change. These two chapters have my name written all over it. And I am ready to take it on! The very definitions of insecurity are some of my strongest characteristics.
ReplyDeleteObsessing over what people think. YIKES! I am wondering what you all are thinking of me right now!
Unrealistic expectations of relationships hit me hard too. I expect so much from my female friends. They have to fit a certain profile for me to desire a relationship with them, maybe not in looks but character and personality. I am excited to discover this more and work on just loving people (like Karla mentioned) even the ones that I can hardly stand.
Our insecurities affect every aspect of our ministry to encourage those who are believers and our witness to those who are not believers. I can be a more powerful instrument for God's glory if I can just get past some of these things. And I too am ready God to bring it on!
Honestly what I liked best about the first two chapters is when Beth wrote:
ReplyDeleteI am well enough acquainted with the issue to know that as we start defining and describing this malady, those of you with fairly chronic cases are going to begin to feel insecure even about your insecurities. (It takes one to know one.)
Seriously girls....I have always said that I am basically an insecure girl who has been put in situations in which I need to act as if I'm not (I'm the Director of Children's Ministries at my church and often have to talk in front of the congregation), I worry about how I look (as good as the next), what the next person thinks of me...yah, you get the idea. Honestly, I think the way that society has taught us to talk about other people feeds into our feelings of insecurity big time.
I REALLY want to change in this area, though, so I'm looking forward to, but am hesitant at the same time of, working my way through this book.
(PS as I contemplate if I'm going to post this as is I'm thinking...what will they think of me? Really, Lorie...are you going to let yourself be that vulnerable?)
After reading the introduction and chapter one, I decided this book about insecurity didn’t apply to me anymore. Of course it did in the past, but I had moved past all that and received healing and restoration. I even got half way through chapter two before reality hit me square in the forehead. “Insecurity’s best cover is perfectionism.” Ouch! There was a time that I would have said I was a hopeless perfectionist, but God has moved me past that; and so I know I quip, “I am a recovering perfectionist.” Like Beth, I have a complicated mix of confidence and self consciousness. It was in the second half of the definition that I began to see myself and was able to admit there are some insecurities that I haven’t dealt with. Maybe it’s because I read these chapters on a good day, but I find that it will take some digging to actually identify what those insecurities are.
ReplyDeletePS. I have already read ahead and was convicted with more of Beth's definition of insecurity. It didn't take so much digging afterall. *sigh*
I must confess I couldnt stop reading after chapter one and two. Ive read the entire book and couldnt believe how much I was functioning out of insecurity. Im pretty sure its stamped on my forehead!
ReplyDeleteIve also had to come to terms and grieve over several relationships about friends that I thought were friends but clearly were not after a series of events. It became very apparent by thier actions and what Beth described in this book.
Perhaps I may be the only one on this journey to a new level of self awareness and breaking free from the bondage of insecurity, and perfectionism! However I look forward to the new me operating in the complete security only God can give, (Oh and real solid friendships based in christ!).
It is comforting to know that even Beth Moore is a fellow "struggler". So many times I have been deceived and believed I was the only one. I loved when she said, "I'm a common woman sharing common problems seeking a common solution on a journey with an uncommon Savior." Insecurity is an epidemic. And, Jesus wants to do something about it! I hope that I can take this read to heart and let Jesus get to the "terrified part" of me that "devalues" the rest of me. I hope that I can look at Him and stop doubting God about myself and believe Him so I can be free from the self condemnation I have lived with so long. I am tired of trying to please others selfishly because of fear. I'm looking forward to forging on!
ReplyDeleteI love getting together with other women. However, the first thing I usually do afterwards is analyze every word I have uttered, rating my level of idiotness, and wondering what they may have thought of me. Oh, if only I didn't say that. Oh, if only I had said this.
ReplyDeleteI love this book! And I love this blog! Something about words on a page that makes it so much easier to get my thoughts out and 'write' past my insecurities. I could say ditto to each and every one of you and yet this book is speaking to me in what could be called a totally new way. I am feeling freed from many of my insecurities and though I know I have a long way to go, I am encouraged and excited to share this journey with women who long to feel the fullness and security of Christ.
ReplyDeleteThe question I continue to ponder and be reminded of is the very last sentence of chapter two... "So what would happen if we quit being accomplices in our own misery?" God bless you my friends as we continue this journey to growing security in Christ!
Beth says on page 23 "Never think for a moment that pride and self centeredness have no role in insecurity" and I was thinking for me also, there are comfort zones! Turning the page to 25 "Change happens and suddenly we are thrown for a loop. We realize we weren't secure. We were spoiled. One way we can detect insecurity is by our knee-jerk reaction to any level of change in a relationship, particularly if we perceive that the focus has shifted away from us." I find even a change of circumstances can bring a lot of insecurity. I have found this true as my children are grown now. I turn this over to the Lord, time after time. :) Just this morning, I read Ps 73:25-26... Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my Portion Forever! :)Hugs to all of you...I love reading what you have written...Jean
ReplyDeleteWow this is a great book, Beth Moore certainly knows how to speak to each and everyone of us and we are all getting something different from it. God certainly meets us where we are. Insecurity - I knew that I struggled with it in certain things but maybe didnt put a name to it, but in reading this book, it has opened my eyes to just how much.
ReplyDeleteIn reading these first 2 chapters it made me want to look at all my relationships - what are healthy ones and what are not.....
Something that also jumped out at me on pg 18 in chaper 1 where Beth talks about " maybe I dont just doubt myself. Maybe I subconsciously doubt God for using me...." That really spoke to me right where I am today. I have felt God leading me to start a prayer group at my church to pray specifically for changes. I have been unsure of myself and how I can make a difference by praying but really it is not me but God! And Beth continues on pg 18 "If you know Jesus Christ personally, He has chosen you too, and has appointed you to accomplish something good. Something that matters. Something prepared for you before time began(Ephesians 2:10) Something meant to have a serious impact within your sphere of influence." So I have to put aside those feelings of insecurity and doubt and just Trust Him to work through me.
And even as I write this I'm thinking "what are they going to think of me especially when I dont know any of you." It makes me feel a little vulnerable.... Oh well we're in this together, looking forward to reading the rest of the book with you all and finding security in our Lord.
Oh what greatness I find on this blog! You ladies just encourage me even more in this journey! That being said, I will be totally honest and I have to admit: I've always felt like I was a confident, secure woman. I've never had issues finding my place, and taking charge of situations. This last year or so, however, something has been stopping me from being confident...I've felt like saying "no" or "not yet" a lot. My relationships with my girlfriends have begun to get interesting...and not in a good way. These first chapters brought tears to my eyes...I get it now...I have allowed Satan to deceive me! the description of the insecure person on page 23 is me! not only that but I've started "subconsciously doubting God for using me" (page 18) Not anymore! It is time to fight back and become that woman I used to be! Not only that, but we ladies have a great host of angels to fight with us! Thank you Jesus for standing at the door and knocking, and give us the strength to open the door and clean house!
ReplyDeleteWow, thank you to everyone for being so open! I'm newly back from vacation so hope to catch up with everyone else. I was reading this book on the plane and in hotels and have come to the same conclusions as a few of you. When I went to the simulcast (before even starting the book) I was trying to thing about how I was insecure and really thought it didn't apply to me. Boy was I wrong! After hearing Beth speak and reading these chapters Satan has used pride and confidence as a way to cover up my insecurities. One of my biggest is wanting everyone to like me and if someone doesn't I obsess over why and what I could do differently. Way too much self-talk starts happening in my head! I'm praying for continued revelation from God and how He will change me during the course of this study.
ReplyDeleteYou ladies are all so far ahead of me.... can you even recall chapters 1 and 2? So, my comments will be a refresher for you. The definition of insecurity on page 17 was kinda tough for me. The truth hurts. More than 20 years ago, while single, I was being mentored by a simple mom of three who has since passed away. I was struggling with all kinds of insecurities related to my relationships. I was a young christian in a dating relationship that confused me. Waiting for my boyfriend to 'validate my value' by making me his bride. I wasn't very patient either, and became pretty manipulative. It was all I could think of most of the time. And, because things weren't moving as fast as I preferred I got pretty depressed. Thinking about what I wanted instead of what I had. My thoughts were so self-centered. Anyway, Marilyn, my mentor-friend, could see my problem and wasn't afraid to tell me what I needed to hear. Her advice at the time, "Look around you, Jean. Look at all the needs of the people God has surrounded you with. Perhaps God has placed you in their midst for a purpose. How can you serve them? Stop thinking so much about yourself, think of others and you will begin to feel the depression lift."
ReplyDeleteOf course, she was right. The more I thought of others and Christ, the less I thought of myself. So, why was this chapter and that definition so tough for me? I already fought this battle and won, right? Yes. However, it's amazing how quickly I forget the lessons already learned and must reapply truth to my life and claim victory again. and again..... you get the picture.
So, as I read this book now, I see this insecurity thing resurfacing in my relationships with my children. I inwardly question myself all the time. "Do they appreciate me, my 'sacrifices'? Do they love me? Will they return to me? (I have one in college, one starting in the fall)" Do you see a commonality? ME, ME, ME, and yes... ME! Thank you, Karla for responding to the Holy Spirit prompting you to read and study this book with other women. Thanks for inviting me to be a part of it, and encouraging and teaching me about techno stuff that seems to evade me. And, thank you, God, for not giving up on this child who seems to need You even more today than ever before. Will I ever grow up?