Chapter 6
First, let me say that I underlined nearly every sentence in this chapter!! I love how our gentle and loving God can use the most gentle and loving ways to SMACK ME UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A BASEBALL BAT!! Yes, I too thought this book would be good, but what else can she possibly say?? I know I have some insecurities...why revel in it?? However, that has proven not to be the case once again w/ our beloved Beth. :)
I appreciate how she reminds us of the constant daily assault that is geared towards us in regards to the media saturated culture we live in. I don't know about you, but it can sneak up on me without my knowledge over and over. Why am I feeling unworthy, unloved, lonely, not pretty, bored, overwhelmed, inefficient, etc... Well, what am I listening too? What am I setting myself up against? What am I watching or what conversations am I engaging in? I've said many times about our foremothers, "If they can do it, so can I!" Meaning, if they can get up at 5am, wash clothes by hand, have a spotless house, fix 3 full-blown meals a day, tend to a meticulously clean garden, quilt a family heirloom, raise children, and love her man all while nursing a baby somewhere in there, why can't I??
Well, as Beth states our foremothers didn't live with the media madness and constant sensual assault that we are faced w/ on a day to day or hour to hour basis. They also weren't running their kids to and fro all day long or working outside the home or volunteering. We live in a completely different culture, which is attempting to demand different expectations from us than our ancestors. On page 92, Beth says that we don't just "get to feel inferior to a few women in our circle, we get to feel inferior to thousands" thanks to media access. She says it is up to us to change the way we react to media influence and let me add...peer influence. I love the bottom paragraph on page 97 where she talks about learning to discern between hyped media images and real womanhood, there is so much truth there.
As I mentioned earlier...what do we allow to feed our minds and souls? As Ron Brown says, "are you feeding flesh dog or spirit dog? whichever is getting more "food" is what is gonna win out." She mentions that we need to be intentional about what we allow in our hearts and minds. On page 99, she goes a bit further saying we need to start looking for ways in which we set ourselves up for failure. For me, that is one of the reasons I don't exercise at a public health club. I don't need the visual stimulation of looking at another man work-out and I also don't need the competition it brings out in me with other women...either in what they can do or how they are dressed. Just me...don't need it...so I don't do it. Like Beth says, "learn what you can handle and what you can't".
Pride
Ooohh, I just hate that nasty "friend"! This one is all about the ego. On the bottom of 101, she says, "I have come to the conclusion that we have no greater burden in all of life than our own inflated egos" She also says how we are all so desperate for significance...screaming "somebody notice me!" Hear is the good part though, Beth says that is exactly how God made us! And you know what? that is freeing to me. Sometimes I can get so down on myself for feeling various emotions that I forget that God made my emotions!! It is only through Him that I can keep them in perspective. He is the reason we are here and He is the one that puts that desire to be known in our hearts...desire to be known by Him. Honestly, can anything else compete? Why do we let it? I think I underlined nearly every sentence from 104 to the end of the chapter. In summary, be aware of our pride and humble ourselves before the Lord and allow him to free us and not the world. At the end of the chapter she says, "our culture's reordered values have cheated us of the right to repentance and sublime restoration" "A clear heart and a clean path are still only one sincere confession away." Amen
Chapter 7
Don't Let It Fool You
What better way to describe insecurity..."unchecked and unhealed, it makes an idiot out of us over and over" SMACK!!
There were many stories in this chapter that I could relate too...you??? When I was younger, I used to be so insecure in my friendships that I deliberately sabotaged many of them to avoid being the one hurt first. I have regretted my actions many times over the years. Thankfully, I was able to ask for forgiveness in one of them and was forgiven. It was very healing for us both even after 20 years!! I used to do the same things in male relationships...let them in a bit and then slam the door in their face. I didn't see it in my teenage years, but it was due to my own deep insecurities. Thankfully, the Lord has healed me of those particular insecurities, but I still regret my actions b/c I hurt a lot of people including myself.
I"m sure we can all relate to one story or another in this chapter, but I wanted to point out a major comment she made on page 125. She says that we need to stay in relationships w/ lots of transparency...meaning we need someone who will tell us truth to keep us from becoming the idiot of the month. But...we also need to be willing to tell the truth. Are you struggling w/ something secretly b/c you are too embarrassed to admit it?? Been there!! It was very hard for me b/c as a rule, I am a pretty private person, but this issue was beginning to consume me. I heard someone say, I think it was Charles Stanley, that when something feels bigger than God, it is a direct spiritual attack. Whew, I was feeling it big time. I confessed it to my inner circle of girlfriends, and immediately, the darkness had been exposed. I still struggled, but I knew that God was with me and would walk me through it and without shame and He did. I love that God wants to restore and redeem, I love even the words.
In closing, "He knows we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary, and not just in spite of where we've been, but because of it."
(Post written by Mandy King, a dear friend from Sonrise Bible Study. Mandy is a mother of 4, lives in Kearney, and such a joy.)
When I first read chapter five, I was able to recognize myself in several descriptions at various times in my life, but nothing big jumped out at me about my current situation. Then I read chapter six and realized how proud it must sound to say, “I really don’t have any of these issues. I’ve grown past them.” PRIDE. Yes, that one hurts.
ReplyDeleteI struggled with the quote on page 106 that talked about pride and low self esteem being interwoven. I don’t see myself as someone with low self esteem. But this quote was dead on. “Perfectionists’ black-and-white thinking takes them on a roller coaster between feeling horribly inadequate and bad about themselves, and then, when things are going well, feeling proud to be so good.” Translation: When I make a mistake, I belittle myself and give myself a good tongue lashing for doing something so stupid. This can be over something as benign as forgetting an ingredient while baking cookies. Could this be a form of low self esteem? I think it is better defined within the realm of pride…wanting to be better and perfect and a “the.” Finding value in being so flawless. Then when my flaws come out, I am angry at myself for not measuring up and letting the truth be known. (As if anyone out there believed me to be perfect.)
“In the radiance of His greatness, we are made great.” (page 103) What a wonderful truth. If I could grasp this, then I would stop trying to make myself great and rest in His hands and allow His greatness to shine through me.
My favorite quote from this chapter is this: “Confidence is driven by the certainty of God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that identity away.” (page 104) My prayer is to grow into this confidence and be cleansed of the pride that keeps me from such truth. And what hope we are given when Beth says, “Pride is one of those roots that God can jerk up in a second.” But first, I must let go!
The stories from chapter 7 can be summed up with one line on page 121: “Insecurity that is not dealt with is disastrous.” Oh, that my stories be told of what insecurity led me to do. But aren’t you glad to know you’re not the only one?
Aqua socks! LOL. I love Beth's sense of humor and fashion sense.
ReplyDeleteOn a serious note, give me a P for pride and look at me. Pride is so ugly and something that is so hard for us to see in ourselves. I'm so thankful that we are reminded how quickly it can be removed just by confessing it. Thank you LORD!
The perfectionism really hit me too. I either feel really badly about how I did something or feel really good about how I did, that I either feel like an idiot or feel proud as a peacock.
As I read this book, my awareness of how I could be hurting others by my pride concerns me. I don't want to be that kind of friend.
Loved the quote she ended chapter 6 with! "Our culture has doen us no greater injustice than training us to avoid taking responsibility for our own issues. In trying to relieve us of the whole concept of personal sin, our culture's reordered values have cheated us of the right to repentance and sublime restoration. They have hijaced our healing. A clear heart and a clean path are still only one sincere confession away."
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened to personal responsibility? One thing I've enjoyed so far in the book is Beth bringing me back to me and my relationship with God. What do I need to do, not my husband, not my friends, not my family, but me. I am responsible for my own healing and that is through God!
Probably the best thing I noticed about these two chapters was the last paragraph on page 104..."Created in the image of God, we instinctively know that something enormous is within us" Oh my...I had to literally stop and sit. I always read with background noise, but hit mute on the tv...Beth didn't just say big, or huge, she said ENORMOUS! so why can't I have a conversation with the boy across the room? so why can't I walk out on faith and see how Jesus plans to move this mountain in front of me? this is just probably the most soothing, amazing thing I've ever read.
ReplyDeleteSide note: to those of you who are married, I hope your men are like the ones on page 93...and to those of us who aren't...I can't wait to have a man like that!
I have been meditating on 2 Corinthians 5:15 for a while now. "And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again." Praying that Jesus will help me not to think so much about myself and what others think of me. Praying that I will know His unfailing love for me and help me to give my life back to Him. It will be a more free place to live when more of my security in relationships comes from wholeness in Him.
ReplyDeleteAs a mother of 3 daughters I hope God will help me remember what Beth pointed out about our culture and all the pressure it places on women and men. I hope they will grow up rooted in God's love and aware of the schemes of the "world" that beckon us to come and live for them while leaving us unsatisfied.
Here I am again..... very late. And maybe no one is still reading the blog. All done with the book. Oh well. I am getting so much out of this book and all of your comments here.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to add one little thing that I thought of when I read one of the case stories in chap. 6, page 115. The gal ended her testimony with "I am who you say I am!" I love that sentiment, and I want to add a little bit to it.
My daughter, Jessie (9), when she was about 6 or 7, drew a little doodle on a piece of scratch paper. It was a drawing of herself and above it she wrote, "I'm just who Jesus made me!"
Being a former addict of Seventeen, Glamour, and Tiger Beat magazines, I really don't ever recall having such a healthy attitude about myself. Not growing up in a christian household, I wasn't being told the truth about who I was in Christ. It was a blessing to me to see that God has convinced her that He indeed did create her in His image, and she truly is just what He made her to be.
I want Jessie to remember this truth every day. So, I had a friend paint the sentence right above Jessie's mirror in her room. So as she brushes her hair and looks at her reflection in the mirror, hopefully, she resists the urge to compare what she sees with the air-brushed images in the magazines and tv shows. And she will confidently remind herself of what she already knows to be true: she really is 'just' what Christ made her to be, and that is "wonderfully and fearfully made".