Post No. 3, Chapter 5, Rooting It Out

Gulp!!! Was this as hard to swallow for you as it was for me? I have been reading your comments and the previous posts all seem to say you didn’t think you needed this study. Then upon reading the first few chapters, you realize you insecurity is in there somewhere, somehow.

Instability in the Home. Nope, not really mine. Although I came from divorced parents, my mom more than made up for that. I never felt awkward about my family situation.

A Significant Loss. Now this is the tough one!! The first page of chapter 5 Beth said “You’ve probably also marveled at a few people along the way who don’t seem to give insecurity the slightest shrug. Of course, you and I don’t tend to befriend them.” When I read this I thought about my best friend, Olga. She was one of these gals. The type that didn’t seem to let insecurity bother her. Although we were only 10 when we met, it was the best relationship I have ever had. She was killed in a car accident just before we both turned 17. This was devastating. “Each heart knows its own bitterness” (Proverbs 14:10). This is my bitterness. This turned me away from God and toward bad relationships, which led to the next points.

Rejection. Just bad choices from past loss, but also perception of rejection. I never thought about it that way and I was blown away by this on page 72. Amazing how a few sentences from Beth can hit me with a reality check.

Dramatic Change. Yeah, I know all about this as of late!! While I thank God in my prayers daily for where I am in life right now, I can’t help but go back to that significant loss. I can’t stop thinking about where my life would be if Olga were still alive. I do know that I would not be a mommy of two and a homemaker in Brady Nebraska!! You see Olga and I grew up in Las Vegas. It was just a different life I led when Olga was alive. Not bad, just different.

Personal Limitations. Selfishly I am thankful for the lack of insecurity in this root. I am thankful that with all the other issues I struggle with, this is not one of them. I am one of the ones Beth talks about. “Something one person finds almost debilitating might seem trivial to an observer.” (pg. 81). I don’t often see other’s personal limitations until I see them struggling with it.

Personal Disposition. Another insecurity I didn’t feel was really me, because I’m not sensitive like Beth. But the words she places on the page feel so much at home in my heart. It makes me realize that while I don’t deal the same way, I still struggle.

So much for not really needing this study, huh? So the help I got out of it? “…time heals. Mark my word. It’s God that heals. Time only tells.” (pg. 74). “If you’ve suffered a serious case of rejection, you need to make sure that you’re letting God tend to it.” (pg. 77). “As we keep digging around for the roots of insecurity, we’re going to find that most of them are intertwined underground.” (pg. 79).

What is the root of your insecurity? Did yours, like mine, seem to intertwine? When did you hit that realization that this study was just what you needed? Thanks for studying along with me!! You ladies are my inspiration (and some of my insecurities, :) I just know you are all thinking awful things about me). I’m so glad that some of you mention this thought in your comments. I now know I’m not the only one who thinks this way.

I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

Isaiah 41:9-10

(Post written by Ashley Margritz. Ashley is a mother of two, a scrapbooker, photographer and a friend from Sonrise Bible Study. We will miss you now that you live in Brady!)

Post No. 2, Chapters 3 and 4

She Doesn’t Look a Certain Way

Chapter 3

I can honestly tell you, before I started reading this book, my motivation for even purchasing it was that many of my clients were reading it and I wanted to be knowledgeable about what they were reading. It wasn’t because I felt I needed it. I felt I had worked on this area of my life plenty and by 48 years of age, I felt pretty secure in the fact that I felt pretty secure…(does that make sense?) Another reason I am reading it is because I love to be taught by Beth Moore; she is truly anointed in my opinion.

Beth’s third chapter reminded me of the June 17^th entry in “My Utmost for His Highest” by Oswald Chambers. His first line is, “Jesus says regarding judging – DON’T”. Our insecurities come from comparing ourselves to others and when we do that we either find ourselves better than or worse than. Both places are a result of judging others and Jesus says don’t do it.

Also, I found that her suggestion of a “prominent false positive” was very intriguing to me. I totally buy into her assertion that “if” I had _______________________, “then” I would be secure. I do that when I see tall, thin, fit women since I am not any of those. I do it when I shop with people that have more money than we do and see them buying things I would love to buy but can’t. It’s not that I want them to be like me; I want to be like them.

Little did I know that beginning to read this book would shine a bright light on the areas of my live where insecurity subtly rears its ugly head. I recently helped host a women’s event at our church. I found myself afterward assessing what I said; how I said it and wishing I had said some things I forgot. My evaluation of the evening had more to do with what I had missed rather that what had gone right. Do you notice how many times I used the word “I”? My insecurities are very real when my focus is on me. They become more and more insignificant when I look at things and bring them into alignment with God’s Word. Did God accomplish eternal things that night? Yes! Was he pleased with his “girls”? I believe so! Was my heart’s desire to honor Him? Absolutely! Is He perfect and am I flawed? Yes. And I am good with that. I am an expert in my flaws already; I want to become more and more an expert in His perfection and to learn to “look and be” like my heavenly father!

God has been teaching me to see things as either temporal or eternal; to bring everything into alignment with how God views things. I echo with Beth, “When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are.”

Good Company

Chapter 4

“He’s got what we need. It’s up to us whether or not we’re going to let the worst of us get the best of us.”( pg. 58) I loved this chapter because of how Beth outlines the lives of people in God’s Word with huge insecurities that ended up getting them into huge amounts of trouble. We are not alone. And praise God, we can learn from them to bring our insecurities into check.

So often in my counseling practice I work with people who rely on their emotions to make decisions or to evaluate the status of their relationships. Beth’s statement on page 55 regarding Saul winning The Most Insecure Man in the Word Award is so true. She states, “He won because he let his emotions get so out of control that his insecurity morphed into complete instability.” Nowhere in scripture that I know of does God say we should rely on our emotions; quite the opposite. In Romans 12:2 Paul writes that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds. Our emotions are given to us, I believe, simply to let us know that something is going on. We are to take our thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ (II Corinthians 10:5). Our feelings lie to us over and over again. I remember when I was first married to Tim we had an argument that lasted into the night. Tim finally said we would finish the “discussion” in the morning and went to bed. I was so mad and hurt…I can’t even remember now what the argument was about…that I got dressed and left the house in a very loud way. I got in our car and drove to Odessa on HWY 30 and then back East on the interstate to Kearney and back to our house. I was gone, maybe 45 minutes. The entire time I was fuming and thinking how sorry he would be that I had left. When I got home, you guessed it, Tim was fast asleep. He didn’t even know I was gone. My “emotions had gotten so out of control that my insecurity about my worth, to my husband, morphed into to complete instability.” Well, maybe not complete instability, but surely for the time I was not stable.

I had never, ever thought of Paul being insecure. But after reading Beth’s take on the scriptures she cited, it made sense. Her statement on page 57 was so meaningful to me. “The beauty of Paul wasn’t his super humanity but his unwillingness to let his weaknesses, feelings, and fears override his faith. Like us, the fiercest enemy he had to fight in the fulfillment of his destiny was himself.” I, too, am my own worst enemy. I would guess I am not alone.

It is so good that “Human flesh and blood have no weakness so strong that God’s strength is made weak. He’s got what we need. It is up to us whether or not we’re going to let the worst of us get the best of us.” (pg. 58) Well said!

(Chapters 3 and 4 written by Sherri Peterson. She is a Counselor and Pastor's wife from Kearney, Ne.)

Post No. 1, Chapters 1 and 2

Chapter 1, Mad Enough to Change

My mom, mother-in-law and I had 2 free days with the kids to shop at our leisure. We took turns waiting with the little ones while the others looked and tried on. At one play area in a mall, I sat down and looked up. I couldn't believe what I saw. A naked woman hanging on a huge poster in a store that I used to go to. No more I thought. They were advertising lotions and I for a moment thought maybe they had some miracle cream to make me look like that if I put it on. I know too well for that to be true. As I sat with kids around me, little girls and boys, I looked around. There was a gentleman sitting not to far from me and could see what I could see. There was another mom sitting next to me. I must have been mad enough to change because I just blurted out, "I can't believe they put that in their window!". My mom looked up and asked, "What?". I pointed it out to her and she couldn't believe it either, or the mom sitting next to me. My mom said, "I'm going to go into the store". She came out with customer service numbers to call and complain. The store manager couldn't do anything about it because as a company they have to display the advertisements they receive from headquarters. I've thought about how insecure that poster instantly made me feel. And since I've thought about how it made the men feel around me, and what the little ones minds must have absorbed in their what seemed safe play area. I have even wondered how the girl in the photo really feels. I know she has insecurities too. How do we get away from feeling insecure? We certainly can't live in a cave. I believe the answer is to stay close to the Savior and let God work the rest out. I'm wondering what that will look like over the summer as I read this book and think about how the enemy talks to me, wanting me to buy a lie or make a choice. It is a Goliath-sized foe and I'm ready to fight it to the stinking death.

What I really am thinking hard about from chapter one is her question from page 12. "Is the goal of the believing life to get to a place where we simply hold steady till we die?". I find myself wanting to go someplace wonderful with God and I just can't get there. I wonder why I can't and think there is something wrong with me, like I know why God can't use me in a situation, or why I would fail if I tried something because I'm not equipped. Stink. Insecurity is ugly. What are you thinking about from chapter one?

Chapter 2, Insecure Enough to Matter

I found this chapter tougher to digest. Here's the question I'm still chewing on from page 15, "Are they (insecurities) cheating us of the powerful and abundant life Jesus flagrantly promised?". For me, yes. How about you? What questions are you still chewing on? I'm also thinking about the definition from page 17 and finding what I can relate to, what needs to go.

Here's something I'm wondering about. Do you think you fit the profile? Do you think you are a typical insecure woman? I am far from mousy, but I too, cannot stand when someone is mad at me or I think they don't like me. What are your thoughts about the self-consciousness from pages 22 and 23? Ouch. Ouch. Things need to go here in my world. The specialist description of insecurity on pages 23 really pointed out some things. I know I have unrealistic expectations about love and relationships. What kinds of situations am I creating that I will end up being disappointed? I'm ready for healthy. Bring in on, Lord, bring it on! So I confess, this isn't going to be all happy and enjoyable but I'm trusting that God brings what is healthy. Here's something else big that I have to confess. Do I trust that God can change me enough so I can end up liking those that I love but can hardly stand? Oh I hope so because this is where I am. Okay, your turn. What are your thoughts from chapters one and two?

(Chapters 1 and 2 post written by Karla Steele, Kearney, NE).

Have you read the intro?

One week from today we will start in on chapters one and two. I wanted to take this week to have the chance to hear from you. Have you read the introduction to the book? If so, what did you get from it? What are you thinking? I'd love to know your thoughts as we are about to begin the journey of battling insecurities together.

I don't know what it is about Beth Moore but I couldn't even get through the introduction without crying. Her honest approach to her own insecurities spoke right into my life. She writes about getting out and shooting snakes or sitting in a stale house like a wimp and sulking about a path full of hazards. I love that. I don't want to be sitting and sulking but many times I find that is exactly what I'm doing. As I think about my own insecurities, I'm also challenging myself to dig deep and figure out what I would like to try but don't because my insecurities stop me. For example, if I knew I couldn't fail financially, I'd open my own business. Okay, your turn...what would you try?

(Introduction post written by Karla Steele, Kearney NE).

Chapter Schedule

For those of you who still want to join, it's not to late! We will be reading through So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend, by Beth Moore this summer. I've asked people to take a chapter or two and write their thoughts so I can post different thoughts of what people have after reading the chapters. We all will have the chance to add a comment after the post, but if you would like to take a chapter or two, there are some spots that need to be filled. We will start to post on Monday, May 24. Here's where we are so far:

May 24, Chapters 1 and 2-Karla Steele

May 31, Chapters 3 and 4-Sherri Peterson

June 7, Chapters 5-Ashley Margiritz

June 14,Chapters 6 and 7-Mandy King

June 21, Chapters 8 and 9-Cristina Wright

June 28, Chapters 10 and 11-Beth Brodine

July 5, Chapters 12-Mary Schanbaucher

July 12, Chapters 13 and 14-Amber Kimball

July 19, Chapters 15 and 16-Jean Hueser

July 26, Chapters 17 and 18-Laura Ritterbush

It's not too late to sign up and it is so easy. Become a follower and leave a comment. We want to know your name, where you are from, and something interesting about yourself. Hope you can be a part of the study!

Let's Get Familiar

Okay, so I know all of you, but do you know each other? I think we have 3 from Colorado, 1 from Alaska, 1 from Oklahoma and many from Nebraska. Leave your name, where you are, and something interesting about yourself on a post. I have chapters 1-7 filled in with people but if any of you are interested in writing a snippet about the chapters, email me and I'll get you into the schedule!

I have to tell you this funny story. I asked my mom if she was going to join this blog and read So Long Insecurity, You've Been A Bad Friend and I left out To Us to be shorter because I was chatting on line with her. She wrote back, "why have I been a bad friend?". I couldn't help but laugh and tell her it was part of the title but if she thought that way then maybe she could read along with us...we both had a good laugh!

Have a great weekend!

Karla

P.S. I'm experimenting with the layout and background of the blog!

I think we have at least 10!

So I think 10 will be participating so far. I'm looking forward to this experience. I bought the book and discovered there are 18 chapters. We will be starting this study on May 24 and finish the week of July 26. This gives us 10 weeks to complete the book. We will begin with chapters 1 and 2. I think there are two, maybe 3 weeks that we will read just one chapter, otherwise, we will be reading 2 chapters per week. Let your friends know that this is not a closed study. Anyone, any where can join!